Troublesome Temari
by SincerelyShania
Summary: ONESHOT. This story revolves around Shikamaru and Temari, explaining what a drag it was the day the hot-tempered sand kunoichi became pregnant with the couple's son, Shikadai. It is sexual but humorously written, so don't expect anything too serious.
Shikamaru wandered aimlessly throughout the bustling village, frequently cringing at the loud noises produced by the fast-paced environment around him. His lack of a destination should have been unnerving to him, as he had been asked by Lady Tsunade to attend to a mission, but he could not find it in himself to care. Taking on a mission was always a drag, after all.

After strolling through the dirt covered roads for a while, the lazy genius ended up at the Konoha gate. He stared up at the tall arch, daydreaming about how small everyone truly was in the grand scheme of things and how the clouds were so lucky that they were able to look down on everything while he was required to look up; it seemed to him like it would be more convenient to stare downward. To his displeasure, he was pulled from his musings by a snarky voice he knew all too well.

"I'm surprised you actually made it here on time. This might be a first," Temari provoked, a hand on her hip to add a hint of extra bitchiness to her demeanor. Really, she didn't need the help; she was made of sugar, spice, and everything bothersome in the world.

"It's a _happy_ accident." The sarcasm in Shikamaru's voice did not make it passed the sand kunoichi's trained ears, he assumed, as she narrowed her eyes in response to his statement.

"I wouldn't go picking any fights. You're required to spend the entirety of the day with me, and I have no problem making it a living hell for you."

"You hadn't already started? I was sure that needing to get up so early in the morning was my first punishment." The dull-eyed jonin couldn't help but to smirk as he watched his, for lack of a better term, friend getting more and more heated at his every word.

"Yeah, yeah. Let's save the taunting for some time when we can actually act on our frustrations." Temari rolled her blue eyes exaggeratedly. "Now, let's go to your place so we can finish the paperwork for the upcoming chunin exams."

"My place? Who said we'd be going there?"

"I did, because I haven't rented a room at an inn yet, but I'm ready to get my duties over with."

Shikamaru sighed audibly at his companion's presumptuousness. She always had made work even more troublesome than it needed to be. She was a strong willed woman, and although he sometimes found himself admiring that trait, he usually just foundhimself hindered by it. "Fine, I guess, but next time, book a room before coming."

* * *

Temari examined the Nara forest from right outside of Shikamaru's bedroom; she commented repeatedly on how beautiful it was in all its green glory and how in the sand village, scenes like this were not available. That was all fine and dandy, but the lethargic genius found himself drifting into yet another daydream, unimpressed by his companion's ramblings.

"Anyway, we should probably get to work," the sand kunoichi declared, making her way back into Shikamaru's room and shutting the door. The two old friends sat down and began filing and filling out documents for the chunin exams. The unimpressed jonin could not help but to begin dozing off. The situation was just as much of a drag as he imagined it would be, and he could not convince himself to put forth the effort to force his eyes to stay opened.

Upon realizing that Shikamaru was neglecting his responsibilities for a cat-nap, Temari scoffed loudly. "How did you ever become such an asset to your village? I can't imagine that your laziness is only evident to me because I know you so well."

The bothered genius cocked an eyebrow at his companion's words. "What has you under the impression that you know me that well?"

"Oh, please. Don't act all smug with me. We spend a lot of time together; it's only natural that I would pick up on the kind of person you really are."

Shikamaru let out a solitary chuckle, grinning at the sand kunoichi. "Alright then. Care to make a bet?"

"What kind of bet?" Temari questioned curiously.

"I'll provide three statements that may or may not be facts about me. If you can provide the correct answer two out of three times, being the statement that is true, I'll admit you were right and treat you to your favorite meal for dinner, regardless of the cost; however, if I win, I get to pick a prize of my choosing."

"Sounds kind of fun…I'm in."

"Glad to hear it," the confident jonin stated, a bit of amusement now visible in his expression. "Here are the first three statements: My favorite color is black, my favorite animal is a deer, and I would rather be asleep right now."

"Well, that one's easy. The true statement is 'I would rather be asleep right now'," Temari guessed confidently.

"You're correct. Good job." It was obvious that the praise Shikamaru offered was meant to be cynical. Being a prick was the only thing he did not mind putting effort into. "Next round: I forfeited our match during the chunin exams because I was lazy, I actually enjoy when you come to visit the village, and I wish I could be more like Naruto."

The sand kunoichi appeared to think carefully about the options she had been given; despite this, Shikamaru was not daunted in the least. He knew she was prone to making rash and overly-confident decisions when prompted correctly, so he had no reason to worry over the safety of the money in his wallet.

"You wouldn't want to be like Naruto; he's a great guy and all but way too hyperactive for either of our tastes…The answer is obviously that you forfeited the chunin exams out of laziness," Temari reasoned, again self-assured in her answer.

"Sorry. Looks like you lose this round. My honest reason for giving up during our match was that I was low on chakra. You put up a hell of a fight, and I just didn't have it in me to keep going. It was troublesome."

"I don't believe you! If that wasn't the answer, then you wanna be like Naruto? Ha! Yeah, right."

"I think I know myself better than anyone else, and there was a third answer," the amused genius reminded his companion.

"B-but the last option would be…that you enjoy when I come to visit the village," Temari stated almost timidly. Shikamaru was testing his limits to see if he could bring out a side of the strong-willed woman that he had never seen—a submissiveness in her subconscious that she rarely let loose. He wanted her to get wily like a coyote as he made her howl more and more loudly.

"Yeah, I know. I'm the one who came up with the statements, remember? Anyway, last one, and this is for the win: I find Tenten exceedingly attractive, Ino is one of my closest friends, and I find you to be alluring."

The sand kunoichi flushed at her companion's last potential fact. Although he could tell that she secretly wished for his final statement to be the truth, she was much too prideful to acknowledge the fact. _Women and their feelings,_ he thought to himself. _Such a drag._

"Judging from how you're always sticking up for her when she and I have run-ins, I'd say that the truth is the first statement." Temari's shyness quickly morphed into an expression of jealously at her own words, earning an eye roll from her old friend.

"Looks like I win, so I get to choose my prize," Shikamaru teased, earning a shocked stare from the young woman in front of him.

"I got it wrong? Then what was the correct guess?" The sand kunoichi prodded. The lethargic genius could pick up on the eagerness in her voice; she was taking the bait. Yeah, he was a master fisherman.

"That doesn't really matter now, does it? Our game is over."

"Y-yeah, but…Um…How can I be sure that you're being honest if you can't even tell me what the truth was?"

"Ugh, fine. How troublesome. It was that I find you to be alluring." Temari's cheeks flushed like a toilet at Shikamaru's words. He could hear as her voice got trapped in her throat; she was not sure what to say next, and he reveled in her silence. He had stumped her, and with just one more push… "If I had to be teamed up with any woman, I gotta say, I'd definitely want you."

Jackpot.

Temari smashed her lips into Shikamaru's with what seemed like no thought behind her actions; she was being driven almost purely by her womanly instinct. At her core, lust had taken over her, just as he had strategized it would. He pushed his hand into the back of her head, deepening their kiss effectively.

Upon pulling back from their position, the lazy jonin left his companion in a daze. Her eyes were glazed over in longing like they were frosted donuts; without her saying a word, he could tell she was craving more of him. He had planted the seeds of desire deep within her, and now, he wanted to plant other things inside of her as well.

"It's time to hold up your end of the bet. I think you know what I want. One of the reasons I find you appealing is because you seem smarter than the other girls; you're different." Shikamaru coaxed, whispering so that the dazed young woman was left hanging on to every word.

Temari nodded knowingly at Shikamaru's words before standing up and swiftly removing her clothes. He had to admit, she had the most impressive figure he had ever laid his eyes on. Her tits were round, perky, large, and full with rose pink nipples extending from them. They were so hard in the moment that they could probably cut diamonds, and he found himself oddly pleased at this. She had a cute little blonde pussy patch, curly pubes complementing her rosy nether-lips. From what he could see from his current position, her ass was toned to perfection. The overall image was a sight for sore eyes, and he could feel his cock struggling to escape the confines of his pants.

The lustful genius stood and walked circles around Temari a few times, checking her out; he could tell she thought it to be demeaning, and honestly, he was hoping it would spark some anger in her. She shot him a death glare, and he knew he had begun fueling the already raging fires threatening to consume her. He stopped circling her as he came around to her ass once more, and then pressed himself against her, grinding his erect dick against her nude backside through the cloth of his pants. She moaned slightly at his touch, prompting him to take each of her nipples into his hands and pinch them.

The sand kunoichi was soon allowing groans of pleasure to escape her lips more often as Shikamaru's attack on her nipples became increasingly serious (if she had been a cow…oh man, would milk be spewing everywhere). He released one of her tits and pulled out his modestly sized seven and a half inch cock. It had a pretty little head on its shoulders, just like he did.

Temari was able to sneak a glance at her tormentor's dick and chuckled mockingly. "I was expecting something more impressive with all of the big talking you do."

"It is impressive. Maybe not in size, but definitely in ability." At his words, Shikamaru shoved his full length into the bitchy young woman's pussy, shutting up her contemptuous giggling and having her replace it with screams of pain and pleasure. He rammed into her time and time again, as if he was a dog and she was in heat. It felt like her walls were attempting to pull him into her, and he wanted so badly for her to suck up his upcoming load like she was trying to suck up his dick.

Temari's breathing became more labored, and her pussy began tightening around the aroused jonin's cock; she shook and called out his name in a fit of pure ecstasy. He followed suit, releasing his hot, pearlescent sperm into her.

Satisfied, Shikamaru pulled out of his companion, a waterfall of cum falling out along with him. She fell to the floor, and he stood over her with a triumphant grin plastered on his face. "Thanks for the sex," he stated playfully.

"My pleasure," Temari replied, returning his smile.

The lethargic genius repositioned his wrinkly limp dick inside of his pants and then sat next to the exhausted kunoichi. "I wouldn't really mind winning a bet against you sometime again in the future, you know. You should gamble more often."

"I'm sure you've said that cheesy line to a lot of girls in the past."

"Maybe. Maybe not. Either way, I've never been betting on one like I am on you. Like I said before, you're different."

Temari blushed deeply at Shikamaru's words, which, to his surprise, offered him a different but strikingly all-consuming pleasure like the one he had experienced when releasing himself into her. He could feel himself catching the feelings, and he knew he probably wouldn't be able to shake them, kind of like a bad cold.

The couple sat in silence for a while, enjoying each other's company and basking in the afterglow of their affairs. Shikamaru was the first to break the silence, his normal leisure and passively snarky demeanor returning. "I hope you don't get pregnant because, man, would that be a drag."


End file.
